Albert Barnes Commentary 1 Peter 3:4

"but [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible [apparel] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." — 1 Peter 3:4 (ASV)

But let it be the hidden man of the heart. This expression is substantially the same as that of Paul in Romans 7:22, the inward man. See the notes on Romans 7:22.

The word "hidden" here means that which is concealed; that which is not made apparent by the dress, or by ornament. It lies within, pertaining to the affections of the soul.

In that which is not corruptible. Properly, this means "in the incorruptible ornament of a meek and quiet spirit." This is said to be incorruptible in contrast to gold and apparel.

Gold and apparel will decay, but the internal ornament is ever-enduring. The meaning is that whatever pertains to outward decoration, however beautiful and costly, is fading, while that which pertains to the soul is enduring.

As the soul is immortal, so all that tends to adorn it will be immortal too. Conversely, as the body is mortal, so all with which it can be invested is decaying and will soon be destroyed.

The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. This refers to a calm temper, a contented mind, a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability—a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion and seek to be distinguished for external adorning.

The connection here shows that the apostle refers to this not only as something of great price in the sight of God, but also as something that would tend to secure the affection of their husbands and win them to embrace the true religion (1 Peter 3:1–2).

Therefore, he recommends that, instead of seeking external ornaments, they seek those of the mind and heart. These are more agreeable to their husbands, better adapted to win their hearts to religion, and are what would be most permanently valued. In regard to this point, we may observe the following:

1. There are, undoubtedly, some husbands who are pleased with excessive ornaments in their wives and who take pleasure in seeing them decorated with gold, pearls, and costly array.

2. All husbands are pleased and gratified with suitable attention to personal appearance on the part of their wives. It is as much the duty of a wife to be clean in her person and neat in her habits in the presence of her husband as in the presence of strangers. No wife can hope to secure the permanent affection of her husband if she is not attentive to her personal appearance in her own family, especially if, while careless of her personal appearance in her husband’s presence, she makes it a point to appear gaily dressed before others.

3. Yet, the decoration of the body is not all, nor is it the principal thing a husband desires. He primarily desires in his wife the more permanent adorning that pertains to the heart. Let it be remembered:

   • A large part of the ornaments on which females value themselves are lost to a great extent on the other sex. Many a man cannot tell the difference between diamonds and cut glass, or paste in the form of diamonds. Few are such connoisseurs in female ornaments as to appreciate at all the difference in the quality or color of silks, shawls, and laces, which might appear so important to a female eye.

     The fact is, those personal ornaments that to females appear of so much value are much less regarded and prized by men than they often suppose. It is rare for a man to be so thoroughly skilled in the knowledge of fashion distinctions as to appreciate that on which a female heart often so much prides itself; and it is no great credit to him if he can do this. His time usually, unless he is a draper or a jeweler, might have been much better employed than in making those acquisitions necessary to qualify him to estimate and admire the peculiarities of gay female apparel.

   • But a man has a real interest in what constitutes the ornaments of the heart. His happiness in his relationship with his wife depends on these. He knows what is denoted by a kind temper, gentle words, a placid brow, a modest and patient spirit, a heart that is calm in trouble and is affectionate and pure, and freedom from irritability, fretfulness, and impatience; and he can fully appreciate the value of these things.

     No professional skill is necessary to qualify him to see their worth, and no acquired tact in discrimination is requisite to enable him to estimate them according to their full value. A wife, therefore, if she would permanently please her husband, should seek the adorning of the soul rather than the body, the ornament of the heart rather than gold and jewels.

     The one can never be a substitute for the other. Whatever outward decorations she may have, unless she has a gentleness of spirit, a calmness of temper, a benevolence and purity of soul, and a cultivation of mind that her husband can love, she cannot calculate on his permanent affection.

Which is in the sight of God of great price. This means it is of great value, like something for which a large price is paid. God has shown His sense of its value in several ways:

• By commending it so often in His word;

• By making religion consist so much in it, rather than in high intellectual endowments, learning, skill in the arts, and valor; and

• By the character of His Son, the Lord Jesus, in whom this was so prominent a characteristic.

Sentiments similar to what is stated here by the apostle often occur in heathen classical writers. There are some remarkable passages in Plutarch strongly resembling it: "An ornament, as Crates said, is that which adorns. The proper ornament of a woman is that which becomes her best. This is neither gold, nor pearls, nor scarlet, but those things which are an evident proof of gravity, regularity, and modesty." —Conjugalia Praecepta, c. xxvi.

When the wife of Phocion, a celebrated Athenian general, was visited by a lady elegantly adorned with gold, jewels, and pearls in her hair, the visitor drew attention to the elegance and costliness of her own attire. "My ornament," said Phocion's wife, "is my husband, now for the twentieth year general of the Athenians." —Plutarch's Life of Phocion.

The Sicilian tyrant sent garments and tissues of great value to Lysander's daughters, but Lysander refused them, saying, "These ornaments will rather embarrass my daughters than adorn them." —Plutarch.

Similarly, in the fragments of Naumachius, as quoted by Benson, there is a precept much like this: "Do not be too fond of gold, neither wear purple hyacinth about your neck, nor the green jasper, of which foolish persons are proud. Do not covet such vain ornaments, neither view yourself too often in the mirror, nor twist your hair into a multitude of curls," etc.