Albert Barnes Commentary Colossians 3:21

"Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged." — Colossians 3:21 (ASV)

Fathers, provoke not, etc. (See Barnes on Ephesians 6:4).

Lest they be discouraged. If you continually find fault with them, they might lose all courage and despair of ever pleasing you. There is much sound sense and practical wisdom in this observation of the apostle. Children should not be flattered, but they should be encouraged. They should not be so praised as to make them vain and proud, but they should be commended when they do well.

The desire for praise should not be the principle from which they are taught to act. Instead, they should feel that parental approval is a desirable thing. When they act in a way that deserves that approval, no injury is done to them by their understanding it.

One who always finds fault with a child, who is never satisfied with what the child does, who scolds and frets and complains regardless of what the child does, breaks the child's spirit. This soon destroys in the delicate texture of the child's soul all desire to do well.

The child in despair soon gives up every effort to please. He becomes sullen, morose, dull, and indifferent to all motives that can be presented to him. He also becomes, to a great extent, indifferent to what he does—since everything he does meets with the same reception from the parent.