Albert Barnes Commentary Philippians 2:4

"not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others." — Philippians 2:4 (ASV)

Look not every man on his own things. That is, do not be selfish. Do not let your care and attention be wholly absorbed by your own concerns, or by the concerns of your own family. Show a tender interest for the happiness of the whole, and let the welfare of others be close to your hearts. This, of course, does not mean that there is to be any improper interference in the business of others, or that we are to have the character of "busy-bodies in other men's matters," (See Barnes, 2 Thessalonians 3:11; See Barnes, 1 Timothy 5:13; See Barnes, 1 Peter 4:15); but that we are to regard, with appropriate concern, the welfare of others, and to try to do them good.

But every man also on the things of others. It is the duty of every man to do this. No one is at liberty to live for himself, or to disregard the wants of others. The object of this rule is to break up the narrow spirit of selfishness, and to produce a benevolent regard for the happiness of others.

In respect to the rule, we may observe:

1. We are not to be "busy-bodies" in the concerns of others. See the references above. We are not to attempt to pry into their secret purposes. Every man has his own plans, and thoughts, and intentions, which no one else has a right to look into. Nothing is more odious than an intermeddler in the concerns of others.

2. We are not to impose our advice where it is not sought, or at inopportune times and places, even if the advice is in itself good. No man likes to be interrupted to hear advice; and I have no right to require that he should suspend his business in order that I may give him advice.

3. We are not to find fault with what pertains exclusively to him. We are to remember that there are some things which are his business, not ours; and we are to learn to "possess our souls in patience," if he does not give just as much as we think he should to benevolent objects, or if he dresses in a manner not to please our taste, or if he indulges in things which do not accord exactly with our views.

   He may see reasons for his conduct which we do not; and it is possible that he may be right, and that, if we understood the whole case, we should think and act as he does. We often complain of a man because he does not give as much as we think he should to objects of charity; and it is possible that he may be miserably miserly and narrow.

   But it is also possible that he may be more embarrassed than we know of; or that he may just then have demands against him of which we are ignorant; or that he may have numerous poor relatives dependent on him; or that he gives much with "the left hand" which is not known by "the right hand." At any rate, it is his business, not ours; and we are not qualified to judge until we understand the whole case.

4. We are not to be gossips about the concerns of others. We are not to hunt up small stories and petty scandals about their families; we are not to pry into domestic affairs, and spread them publicly, and find pleasure in circulating such things from house to house. There are domestic secrets which are not to be betrayed; and there is hardly an offense of a more contemptible or injurious character than to divulge to the public what we have seen in a family whose hospitality we have enjoyed.

5. Where Christian duty and kindness require us to look into the concerns of others, there should be the greatest delicacy. Even children have their own secrets, and their own plans and amusements, on a small scale, quite as important to them as the greater games which we are playing in life; and they will feel the meddlesomeness of a busy-body to be as repugnant to them as we should in our plans.

   A delicate parent, therefore, who has undoubtedly a right to know all about his children, will not rudely intrude into their privacies, or meddle with their concerns. So, when we visit the sick, while we show a tender sympathy for them, we should not be too particular in inquiring into their illnesses or their feelings.

   So, when those with whom we sympathize have brought their misfortunes on themselves by their own fault, we should not ask too many questions about it. We should not too closely examine one who is made poor by intemperance, or who is in prison for crime. And so, when we go to sympathize with those who have been, by a reverse of circumstances, reduced from affluence to poverty, we should not ask too many questions.

   We should let them tell their own story. If they voluntarily make us their confidants, and tell us all about their circumstances, it is well; but let us not drag out the circumstances, or wound their feelings by our rude inquiries, or our tactless sympathy in their affairs. There are always secrets which the sons and daughters of misfortune would wish to keep to themselves.

But while these things are true, it is also true that the rule before us positively requires us to show an interest in the concerns of others. It may be regarded as implying the following things:

1. We are to feel that the spiritual interests of everyone in the church are, in a certain sense, our own interest. The church is one. It is united together for a common object. Each one is entrusted with a portion of the honor of the whole, and the conduct of one member affects the character of all. We are therefore to promote, in every way possible, the welfare of every other member of the church. If they go astray, we are to admonish and entreat them; if they are in error, we are to instruct them; if they are in trouble, we are to aid them. Every member of the church has a claim on the sympathy of his fellow believers, and should be certain of always finding it when his circumstances are such as to demand it.

2. There are circumstances where it is proper to look with special interest on the temporal concerns of others. It is when the poor, the fatherless, and the afflicted must be sought out in order to be aided and relieved. They are too retiring and modest to press their situation on the attention of others, and they need that others should show a generous care in their welfare in order to relieve them. This is not improper interference in their concerns, nor will it be so regarded.

3. For a similar reason, we should seek the welfare of all others in a spiritual sense. We should seek to arouse the sinner, and lead him to the Savior. He is blind, and will not come himself; unconcerned, and will not seek salvation; filled with the love of this world, and will not seek a better; devoted to pursuits that will lead him to ruin, and he should be made aware of it.

   It is no more an improper interference in his concerns to make him aware of his condition, and to attempt to lead him to the Savior, than it is to warn a man in a dark night, who walks on the verge of a precipice, of his peril; or to arouse one from sleep whose house is in flames.

   In like manner, it is no more intermeddling with the concerns of another to tell him that there is a glorious heaven which may be his, than it is to make a man aware that there is a mine of golden ore on his farm. It is for the man's own interest, and it is the office of a friend to remind him of these things.

   He does a man a favor who tells him that he has a Redeemer, and that there is a heaven to which he may rise; he does his neighbor the greatest possible kindness who makes him aware that there is a world of infinite woe, and tells him of an easy way by which he may escape it.

   The world around is dependent on the church of Christ to be made aware of these truths. The pleasure-seeking will not warn the pleasure-seeking of their danger; the crowd that presses to the theater or the ballroom will not make those who are there aware that they are in the broad way to hell; and everyone who loves his neighbor should feel sufficient interest in him to tell him that he may be eternally happy in heaven.