Albert Barnes Commentary Psalms 45:10

"Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; Forget also thine own people, and thy father`s house:" — Psalms 45:10 (ASV)

Hearken, O daughter, and consider — This is probably to be understood as the language of the psalmist, in vision, uttering counsel and advice that would be appropriate to the new condition of the bride. Some have understood it as the language of the father of the bride, uttering appropriate counsel to his daughter on entering her new relationship; exhorting her to affection and obedience in that relationship; charging her to feel that she is his, that she is to go with him, that she is to identify herself with his interests, and to “forget”—that is, not improperly to long for her own people and her father’s house.

All this would be good advice for a father to give to his daughter in such circumstances. However, the most natural interpretation is to regard the language here as that of the psalmist, or as inspired wisdom, regarding the proper feeling in entering such a relation.

If this is the meaning, the word “daughter” may be used as a term of affection or kindness, as the word “son” often is, to denote one who is a disciple or learner. The “thought” suggested here is that counsel or advice regarding the manner in which she should conduct herself to secure the continual confidence of her husband may be very properly given to a newly-married bride. The counsel suggested here, considered with reference only to that relation, would be eminently wise.

And incline thine ear — Attend to what is now said. The address is repeated—“Hearken;” “consider;” “incline thine ear”—as if the matter were of great importance. On the phrase “incline thine ear,” see the notes at Psalm 31:2; compare Psalm 78:1.

Forget also thine own people — This is said on the supposition that the bride was a foreign princess. As such, it is to be supposed that she had been trained under other customs, under other forms of religion, and with reference to other interests than those that would now pertain to her. The counsel is that she must now forget all these, and identify herself with her husband and with his interests.

The word “forget” cannot denote absolute forgetfulness, or that she was to cast off all affection for those who had trained her up. Instead, the meaning is that she was not to pine after them, not to be dissatisfied with her new home and her new relations, not to carry the institutions of her native country with her, and not to use her new position to promote the ends of her native country if they were adverse to, or hostile to, the interests of her husband and his country.

As applied to a bride now, the advice would mean that she is not to pine for her old home or make complaining and unfavorable comparisons between it and her new home. She is not to divert her husband from his plans and the proper pursuits of his life by endeavoring to induce him to forsake his friends and abandon his position so that she may be restored to the society of her earlier friends.

Furthermore, she is not to introduce habits, customs, amusements, or modes of living into her husband’s arrangements, derived from her former habits and modes of life, that would interfere with the proper economy of his house, and that would be inconsistent with his principles and his means of living.

When she marries, she should make up her mind—while she cherishes a proper regard for her old friends and a proper memory of her past life—to identify her interests with his. She should resolve to go where he goes, live as he lives, and, if such is the will of God, die where he dies, and be buried by his side.

As applied to the Church—the bride of the Lamb—the idea here is that which we find so often enforced in the New Testament: those who become the followers of the Savior must be willing to forsake all for him and identify themselves with him and his cause (see the notes at Matthew 10:37; Luke 14:26).

We are to forsake the world and devote ourselves to him. We are to break away from all worldly attachments and consecrate all to him. We are to bid adieu to worldly companions as our chosen friends and make the friends of Christ our friends. We are not to pine after the world, seek to return to it, or pant for its pleasures. We are not to take advantage of our position in the church to promote the objects we pursued before we entered it. We are not to introduce the customs, habits, or plans we previously pursued “into” the church. In all things, we are to become identified with him to whom we have become “espoused” (2 Corinthians 11:2); we are to live with him, go with him, die with him, and be his forever.

And thy father’s house — The home of your childhood; the house where your father dwells. The strongest earthly ties are to be made subservient to a higher and stronger tie if we are to become true followers of the Savior .