Albert Barnes Commentary Romans 12:10

"In love of the brethren be tenderly affectioned one to another; in honor preferring one another;" — Romans 12:10 (ASV)

Be kindly affectioned. The word used here occurs nowhere else in the New Testament. It properly denotes tender affection, such as that which exists between parents and children; and it means that Christians should have similar feelings toward each other, as belonging to the same family and as united in the same principles and interests. The Syriac renders this, Love your brethren, and love one another. (Compare to 1 Peter 2:17).

With brotherly love. Or, in love to the brethren. The word denotes the affection that exists between brethren. The duty is one that is often presented in the New Testament, and which our Savior intended should be regarded as a badge of discipleship (John 13:34–35: By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another; compare also John 15:12, 17; Ephesians 5:2; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 John 2:7–8; 1 John 3:11, 23; 1 John 4:20–21).

The apostle Paul in this place shows his distinctive way of writing: he does not simply urge brotherly love, but he adds that it should be kindly affectioned. It should be with the tenderness that characterizes the most endearing natural relationship. He expresses this by a word apparently coined for the occasion (filostorgoi), blending love with natural affection, and allowing it to be shown in your interactions with one another.

In honour. In showing or manifesting respect or honour. Not in seeking honour, or striving after respect, but in showing it to one another.

Preferring one another. The word preferring means going before, leading, setting an example. Thus, in showing mutual respect and honour, they were to strive to excel; not to see which could obtain most honour, but which could confer most, or manifest most respect. (Compare to 1 Peter 5:5; Ephesians 5:21). Thus they were to be diligent in showing to each other all the respect that was due in the various relations of life—children to show proper respect to parents, parents to children, servants to their masters, etc.; and all to strive, by mutual kindness, to promote the happiness of the Christian community.

How different this is from the spirit of the world—the spirit that seeks not to confer honour, but to obtain it; that aims not to diffuse respect, but to attract all others to give honour to us. If this single direction were to be obeyed in society, it would at once put an end to a large part of the envy, ambition, resentment, and dissatisfaction of the world.

It would produce contentment, harmony, love, and order in the community; and check the progress of crime, and annihilate the evils of strife, discord, and malice. And especially, it would give order and beauty to the church. It would humble the ambition of those who, like Diotrephes, love to have the preeminence (3 John 1:9), and make every person willing to occupy the place for which God has designed them, and rejoice that their brethren may be exalted to higher posts of responsibility and honour.