Charles Ellicott Commentary Genesis 42:38

"And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he only is left: if harm befall him by the way in which ye go, then will ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to Sheol." — Genesis 42:38 (ASV)

Then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave. —Hebrew, to Sheol (See Note on Genesis 37:35). Jacob, both here and in Genesis 47:9, speaks as one on whom sorrow had pressed very heavily. Always of a timid and affectionate disposition, he looks onward now without hope, and sees in the future only dangers and ill-fortune. Probably by this time he had lost Leah as well as Rachel, but the blow that had struck him utterly down had evidently been the loss of Joseph, in whom Rachel had still seemed to live on for him.

And therefore now he clung the more warmly to Benjamin, and it is plain that the father’s deep sorrow for the loss of the petted son had softened the hearts of his brothers. They had no grudge against Benjamin because he had taken Joseph’s place; rather, they seemed to share their father’s feelings. Their hearts were also in accordance with what Judah says in Genesis 44:18-34: that they would cheerfully bear any personal suffering rather than endure seeing a repetition of such grief, a grief they themselves had previously inflicted.