Charles Spurgeon Commentary Genesis 32:3-5

"And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the field of Edom. And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye say unto my lord Esau: Thus saith thy servant Jacob, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed until now: and I have oxen, and asses, [and] flocks, and men-servants, and maid-servants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find favor in thy sight." — Genesis 32:3-5 (ASV)

And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom. And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau; Thy servant Jacob saith thus, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now: and I have oxen, and asses, flocks, and menservants and womenservants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in thy sight.

It has been judged by some that Jacob, in sending such a message to Esau, acted unworthily and unbelievingly; but I think we are not called upon to censure the servants of God in points where they are not condemned in Scripture. The elder brother, according to all Eastern customs, was the lord of the family, and Jacob had so grossly injured Esau that it was fitting for him to walk very humbly and to abound in courtesy towards him.

Besides, I hope we shall never imagine that the highest faith is inconsistent with the greatest prudence, and that we shall never forget that there is such a book in the Bible as the Book of Proverbs, which contains counsels of wisdom for daily life. That Book of Proverbs is placed not far from the Song of Solomon, which treats of high spiritual communion, as if to teach us that the next-door neighbour to the wisdom that comes from above which walks with God, is that prudence which God gives to his servants for their dealings with men. He who walks with God will not be a fool, for God is the source of all wisdom, and the man who walks with him will learn wisdom from him.

And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother to the land of Seir, the country of Edom. And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall you speak to my lord Esau; Your servant Jacob says this, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now: and I have oxen, and asses, flocks, and menservants, and womenservants: and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in your sight.

This was a wise and proper action on the part of Jacob, for he had grossly wronged his brother, and it was right for him to make advances toward a reconciliation. He prayed to God for help, but he also used such means as he could—the means that ought always to be used when any of us realize that we have done an injury to others. We should even be willing to humiliate ourselves in order to make peace. I think that, when Christians differ from one another, there should be a holy emulation between them as to which will be the first to give way, and which will give way the more to the other.

How many quarrels might soon be ended if there were this spirit of conciliation among all professing Christians. I have heard of one who had offended a brother Christian during the day; possibly, the brother Christian had offended him quite as much. But the first one saw that the sun was going down, so he turned to seek his friend, that he might say to him, 'Friend so-and-so, I was wrong in being angry today.' Half-way between their two houses, they met, and each of them said, 'I was just coming to say that I was wrong.'

There is no need of any arbitrator when each of the disputants is willing to say, "I was wrong," and the trouble is soon over when that point is reached. In this case, it certainly was Jacob's duty to make some reparation to his brother, whether Esau accepted it or not.