Charles Spurgeon Commentary Philemon 1:13-14

"whom I would fain have kept with me, that in thy behalf he might minister unto me in the bonds of the gospel: but without thy mind I would do nothing; that thy goodness should not be as of necessity, but of free will." — Philemon 1:13-14 (ASV)

Whom I would have retained with me, that in your place he might have ministered to me in the bonds of the gospel: but without your consent would I do nothing; that your good deed should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly.

"I would have kept him," says Paul, "for I need someone to be my companion, to comfort me in my distress; but I would not do it without asking your permission, so that I would not seem to take advantage of you. Though I know that you would willingly consent to it, yet, nevertheless, so that it might be perfectly voluntary on your part, I have sent him back to you, so that you may do as you wish with him."