Church Fathers Commentary Matthew 10:37-39

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that doth not take his cross and follow after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it; and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." — Matthew 10:37-39 (ASV)

St. Jerome: Because of what He had said, I am not come to send peace but a sword..., He now adds, He that loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, so that no one might suppose that family affection was banished from His religion. Thus, in the Song of Songs we read, Order love in me (Song of Solomon 2:4). For this order is needed in every affection. After God, love your father, your mother, and your children. But if a situation arises where the love of parents and children comes into competition with the love of God, and both cannot be preserved, remember that hatred of our relatives then becomes love for God. He does not forbid loving a parent or child, but adds emphatically, more than me.

St. Hilary of Poitiers: For those who have valued the affection of their family higher than God are unworthy to inherit the good things to come.

St. John Chrysostom: Yet when Paul bids us to obey our parents in all things, we should not be surprised, for we are only to obey in matters that are not harmful to our piety toward God. It is holy to give them every other honor, but when they demand more than is due, we must not yield.

This is also consistent with the Old Testament, where the Lord commands that all who worshiped idols should not only be held in abhorrence but should be stoned. And in Deuteronomy it is said, He who saith to his father and his mother, I know you not; and to his brethren, Ye are strangers; he hath kept thy saying (Deuteronomy 33:9).

Glossa Ordinaria: It seems to happen in many cases that parents love their children more than children love their parents. Therefore, having taught that His love is to be preferred to the love of parents—as on an ascending scale—He next teaches that it is to be preferred to the love of children, saying, And whoso loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ¹

Rabanus Maurus: He is unworthy of divine communion who prefers the carnal affection of relatives to the spiritual love of God.

St. John Chrysostom: Then, so that those to whom the love of God is preferred should not be offended by this, He leads them to a higher doctrine. Nothing is closer to a person than his own soul, and yet He commands that it should not only be hated, but that a person should be ready to deliver it up to death and bloodshed—not to death only, but to a violent and most disgraceful death, namely, the death of the cross. Therefore, it follows, And whoso taketh not up his cross and followeth me, is not worthy of me.

He had not yet said anything to them regarding His own sufferings, but in the meantime, He instructs them in these things so that they might more readily receive His words concerning His passion.

St. Hilary of Poitiers: Alternatively, They that are Christ's have crucified the body with its vices and lusts (Galatians 5:24). And he is unworthy of Christ who does not take up his cross—in which we suffer with Him, die with Him, are buried and rise again with Him—and follow his Lord, intending to live in newness of spirit in this sacrament of the faith.

St. Gregory the Great: The cross is so called from tormentⁱ, and we bear the Lord's cross in two ways: either when we afflict the flesh by abstinence, or when, in compassion for our neighbor, we make his afflictions our own.

But it should be known that some make a show of abstinence not for God, but for ostentation. And there are some who show compassion to their neighbor not spiritually but carnally—not to encourage him in virtue, but rather to approve of his faults. These people may seem to bear their cross, but they do not follow the Lord. Therefore, He adds, And followeth me. ²

St. John Chrysostom: Because these commands seemed burdensome, He proceeds to show their great use and benefit, saying, He that findeth his life shall lose it. This is as much as to say that not only do these things I have taught do no harm, but they are of great advantage to a person, and the opposite will do him great harm. This is His manner everywhere.

He uses the very things that people's affections are set upon as a means of bringing them to their duty.

Thus: Why are you reluctant to despise your life? Is it because you love it? For that very reason, despise it, and you will do it the highest service.

Remigius of Auxerre: The 'life' in this passage is not to be understood as the soul's substance but as this present state of being. The meaning is this: He who finds his life—that is, this present life—and so loves its light, joys, and pleasures that he desires to always possess them, will lose what he wishes to always keep and will prepare his soul for eternal damnation.

Rabanus Maurus: Alternatively, he who seeks an immortal life does not hesitate to lose his life—that is, to offer it to death. But either sense suits equally well with what follows: And whoso shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.

Remigius of Auxerre: That is, he who, in confessing My name during a time of persecution, despises this temporal world with its joys and pleasures, will find eternal salvation for his soul.

St. Hilary of Poitiers: Thus, the gain of life brings death, and the loss of life brings salvation, for by the sacrifice of this short life we gain the reward of immortality.

1. non occ.
2. Hom. in Ev., xxxii, 3