Expositor's Bible Commentary Commentary Colossians 3:18

"Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." — Colossians 3:18 (ASV)

The one duty Paul enjoins on the wife is to “submit” (GK 5718), an attitude that recognizes the rights of authority. His main thought is that the wife is to defer to (i.e., be willing to take second place to) her husband. Yet we should never interpret this as if it implies that the husband may be a domestic despot, ruling his family with a rod of iron. It does imply, however, that the husband has an authority the wife must forgo exercising. In areas where one must yield—e.g., in the husband’s choice of a profession or of a geographical location for doing his work—the primary submission devolves upon the wife.

Three things may be said about a wife’s subjection to her husband. (1) The context shows that the wife’s attitude is prompted and warranted by her husband’s unselfish love. (2) The way in which Paul expresses this concept shows that the submission is to be voluntary. The wife’s submission is never to be forced on her by a demanding husband; it is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that her home must have a head, gladly shows to a worthy and devoted husband. (3) Such submission is said to be “fitting in the Lord,” i.e., it is becoming and proper not only in the natural order but also in the Christian order. This whole issue, then, is lifted to a new and higher level.