Expositor's Bible Commentary Commentary Colossians 3:19

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." — Colossians 3:19 (ASV)

The ancient world was a man’s world, and even among the Jews the wife was often little more than chattel. Paul’s counsel in the present passage is in striking contrast to this. Husbands in that day often wielded an authority that others were bound to obey. While not openly challenging this assumption, Paul transforms it by the Christian principle of mutual love and deference.

Paul speaks of two responsibilities of the husband—one positive and the other negative. Positively, he urges husbands to “love [GK 26] your wives.” This, of course, is their supreme duty. “Love” does not only denote affection or romantic attachment; it especially denotes caring love, a deliberate attitude of mind that concerns itself with the well-being of the one loved. Self-devotion, not self-satisfaction, is its dominant trait. Negatively, Paul urges husbands not to be “harsh” with their wives, using a word that suggests a surly, irritable attitude.