Expositor's Bible Commentary Commentary Colossians 3:21

"Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged." — Colossians 3:21 (ASV)

The specific mention of “fathers” suggests that the father as head of the household has a special responsibility for training the children. No slight toward the mother is intended, for Paul would surely have recognized her rights and the power of her influence in the home. In fact, “fathers” (GK 4252) occasionally has the broad meaning of “parents” (cf. Hebrews 11:23, where this word is used of the parents of Moses).

Fathers are not to “embitter” (GK 2241) their children. They must not challenge their children’s resistance by an unreasonable exercise of authority. Firm discipline may be necessary, but it must always be administered in the right spirit. Parents should not give in to fault-finding, nor always be nagging their children.

The reason for this counsel is that “they will become discouraged” (GK 126).

Parents can be so exacting, so demanding, or so severe that they create within their children the feeling that it is impossible for them to please. The Greek word used here has in it the idea of “losing heart” and suggests going about in a listless or sullen attitude. Paul may have had in mind the regimen of “don’ts” that loomed so large in the Colossian heresy.