Expositor's Bible Commentary Commentary Ephesians 6:4

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." — Ephesians 6:4 (ASV)

The child-parent relationship is not one-sided. A standard feature of Paul’s treatment of these domestic categories is that the stronger have obligations to the weaker. The gospel introduced a fresh element into parental responsibility by insisting that the feelings of the child must be taken into consideration. In a society where the father’s authority was absolute, this was revolutionary.

Paul addresses “fathers” as the heads of their families, though the term could mean “parents.” Above all else, he warns them against goading their children into a state of perpetual resentment (cf. 4:26). He is not thinking of extreme instances like disinheritance, but the everyday tensions of family life. Fathers must not make unreasonable demands. Otherwise children, being overcorrected, may lose heart (cf. Colossians 3:21). Children should be treated with tenderness.

Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalms 127:4); they are to be reared for him. The verb “bring up” (GK 1763) has to do in the first place with bodily nourishment (5:29) and then with education in its entirety. Paul mentions two aspects of such domestic education. “Training” (GK 4082) in the Greco-Roman world meant strict discipline; what Paul is referring to here is training in righteousness. “Instruction” (GK 3804) is correction by word of mouth. Remonstration and reproof are implied, but also advice and encouragement. What we have here is the beginning of Christian education in the home.