Expositor's Bible Commentary Commentary Matthew 10:37

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." — Matthew 10:37 (ASV)

A man must love his wife, family, friends, and even his enemies (cf. 5:44), but he must love Jesus supremely. Moreover, Jesus demands death to self. “Taking one’s cross” does not mean putting up with some awkward or tragic situation in one’s life but painfully dying to self. In that sense every disciple of Jesus bears the same cross. After Jesus’ death and resurrection, the emotional impact of these sayings must have been greatly heightened; but even before those events, the reference to crucifixion would vividly call to mind the shame and pain of such a sacrifice.

The appeal is not to gloom but to discipleship. There is a strong paradox here. Those who “lose” (GK 660) their “life,” whether in actual martyrdom or disciplined self-denial, will “find” (GK 2351) it in the age to come. Those who “find” it now by living for themselves and refusing to submit to the demands of Christian discipleship will “lose” it in the age to come (cf. 16:25).