John Calvin Commentary 1 Corinthians 7:5

"Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that ye may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency." — 1 Corinthians 7:5 (ASV)

Defraud ye not one the other Profane persons might think that Paul does not act with sufficient modesty in speaking in this way about the intercourse of a husband with his wife, or at least that it was unbecoming the dignity of an Apostle. If, however, we consider the reasons that influenced him, we will find that he was under the necessity of speaking about these things.

In the first place, he knew how much influence a false appearance of sanctity has in deceiving devout minds, as we ourselves know by experience. For Satan dazzles us with an appearance of what is right, so that we may be led to imagine that we are polluted by intercourse with our wives, and abandoning our calling, may think of pursuing another kind of life.

Furthermore, he knew how prone everyone is to self-love and devoted to his own gratification. As a result, a husband, once his desire has been gratified, treats his wife not merely with neglect but even with disdain; and there are few who do not sometimes feel this disdain for their wives creeping in on them.

It is for these reasons that he discusses so carefully the mutual obligations of married life. “If at any time it occurs to married persons to desire an unmarried life, as if it were holier, or if they are tempted by irregular desires, let them remember that they are bound by a mutual connection.” The husband is but one half of his body, and so also is the wife.

Therefore, they do not have freedom of choice but must instead restrain themselves with such thoughts as these: “Because the one needed help from the other, the Lord has connected us together, so that we may assist each other.” Let each then be helpful to the other's need, and let neither of them act as if at his or her own disposal.

Unless by mutual consent He requires mutual consent, in the first place, because the issue is not about the continence of one merely, but of two; and besides, he immediately adds two other exceptions. The first is, that it be done only for a time, as perpetual continence is not in their power, lest, if they should venture to make an attempt beyond their power, they might fall to Satan’s stratagems.

The second is, that they do not abstain from conjugal intercourse on the grounds that abstinence is in itself a good and holy work, or as if it were worship of God, but so that they may be free for better activities. Now although Paul had taken such pains to guard this, yet Satan prevailed to such an extent as to drive many to unlawful divorce, out of a corrupt desire for an unmarried life.

The husband, leaving his wife, fled to the desert so that he might please God better by living as a monk. The wife, against her husband’s will, put on the veil — the badge of celibacy. Meanwhile, they did not consider that by violating their marriage commitment they broke the Lord’s covenant, and by loosening the marriage tie, they cast off the Lord’s yoke.

This vice, it is true, was corrected to some extent by the ancient canons, for they prohibited a husband from leaving his wife against her will on the pretext of continence, and likewise a wife from refusing her husband the use of her body. In this, however, they erred — that they permitted both to live together in perpetual celibacy, as if it were lawful for people to decree anything that is contrary to the Spirit of God.

Paul expressly commands that married persons do not defraud each other, except for a time. The bishops give permission to cease the use of marriage forever. Who does not see the obvious contradiction? Therefore, let no one be surprised that we take the liberty to dissent on this point from the ancients, who, it is evident, deviated from the clear statements of the word of God.

That ye may have leisure for fasting and prayer. We must note that Paul does not speak here of every kind of fasting, or every kind of prayer. That sobriety and temperance, which ought to be habitual for Christians, is a kind of fasting. Prayer, too, ought to be not merely daily, but even continual.

He speaks, however, of that kind of fasting which is a solemn expression of penitence, with the aim of averting God’s anger, or by which believers prepare themselves for prayer when they are undertaking some important business. Similarly, the kind of prayer that he speaks of is such as requires a more intense devotion of the mind.

For it sometimes happens that we need (setting aside everything else) to fast and pray; such as when any calamity is impending, if it appears to be a visitation of God’s wrath; or when we are involved in any difficult matter, or when we have something of great importance to do, as, for example, the ordaining of pastors. Now the Apostle appropriately connects these two things, because fasting is a preparation for prayer, as Christ also connects them, when he says,

This kind of devils goeth not out but by fasting and prayer. (Matthew 17:21).

When, therefore, Paul says, that ye may be at leisure, the meaning is that, having freed ourselves from all hindrances, we may apply ourselves to this one thing.

Now if anyone objects that the use of the marriage bed is an evil thing because it hinders prayer, the answer is easy: it is not on that account worse than food and drink, by which fasting is hindered. But it is the responsibility of believers to consider wisely when it is time to eat and drink, and when to fast. It is also part of the same wisdom to have intercourse with their wives when it is appropriate, and to refrain from that intercourse when they are called to be engaged otherwise.

And come together again, that Satan tempt you not Here he presents the reason, ignorance of which caused the ancients to fall into error by rashly and inconsiderately approving a vow of perpetual continence.

For they reasoned in this manner: “If it is good for married persons sometimes to impose upon themselves for a time a voluntary continence with mutual consent, then, if they impose this upon themselves forever, it will be so much the better.” But they did not consider how much danger this involved, for we give Satan an opportunity to oppress us when we attempt anything beyond the measure of our weakness.

“But we must resist Satan.” What if arms and shield are lacking? “They must be sought from the Lord,” they say. But we will in vain implore the Lord to assist us in a rash attempt.

We must, therefore, carefully observe the clause — for your incontinency: for we are exposed to Satan’s temptations as a consequence of the weakness of our flesh. If we wish to shut them out and keep them back, it is fitting for us to oppose them with the remedy with which the Lord has provided us. Therefore, those who give up the use of the marriage bed act rashly. It is as if they had made an agreement with God for perpetual strength.