John Calvin Commentary Genesis 16:5

"And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I gave my handmaid into they bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: Jehovah judge between me and thee." — Genesis 16:5 (ASV)

My wrong be upon you. This also was a part of her punishment, that Sarai was brought so low as to forget herself for a while; and being intensely agitated, she behaved with such weakness. Certainly, as much as she could, she had pushed her husband to act rashly; and now she peevishly insults him, although he is innocent.

For she presents nothing for which Abram was to be blamed. She reproaches him with the fact that she had given her maid into his bosom, and complains that she is condemned by this maid, without having first determined whether he intended to assist the bad cause by his support or not.

Thus blind is the assault of anger; it rushes impetuously here and there, and condemns, without inquiry, those who are entirely free from blame. If ever any woman was of a meek and gentle spirit, Sarai excelled in that virtue. Since, therefore, we see that her patience was violently shaken by a single offense, let every one of us be so much the more resolved to govern his own passions.

The Lord judge between me and you. She makes improper use of the name of God and almost forgets that proper reverence, which is so strongly urged upon those who are godly. She makes her appeal to the judgment of God. What else is this but to call down destruction on her own head?

For if God had intervened as judge, He would necessarily have executed punishment upon one or the other of them. But Abram had done no injury. Therefore, it follows that she would have felt the vengeance of God, whose anger she had so rashly called down upon herself or her husband.

Had Moses spoken this of any heathen woman, it might have been dismissed as a common occurrence. But now, the Lord shows us, through the example of the mother of the faithful: first, how vehement is the flame of anger, and to what lengths it will hurry people; then, how greatly those are blinded who, in their own affairs, are too indulgent to themselves. From this we should learn to suspect ourselves whenever our own concerns are being discussed.

Another thing is also especially noteworthy here: namely, that the best-ordered families are sometimes not free from disputes; indeed, this evil reaches even to the Church of God. For we know that the family of Abram, which was disturbed with conflicts, was the living representation of the Church.

As for domestic quarrels, we know that the principal part of social life, which God consecrated among people, is spent in marriage. Yet various difficulties arise which stain that good state, as if with spots. It is fitting for the faithful to prepare themselves to remove these causes of trouble. To this end, it is very important to reflect on the origin of the evil, for all the troubles people find in marriage, they should attribute to sin.