Private and Public Correction: When to Rebuke a Brother

How to Correct Those Who Sin Against Us

1. Our Lord warns us not to neglect one another's sins—not by looking for things to criticize, but by watching for what needs correction. For Jesus said that someone's eye is sharp to remove a speck from his brother's eye when he doesn't have a plank in his own eye. Let me briefly explain what this means, beloved. A speck in the eye is anger; a plank in the eye is hatred. When someone who harbors hatred criticizes someone who is angry, he's trying to remove a speck from his brother's eye while hindered by the plank in his own eye.

A speck is the beginning of a plank. By watering the speck, you develop it into a plank; by nurturing anger with evil suspicions, you turn it into hatred.

2. There's a great difference between the sin of someone who is angry and the cruelty of someone who holds hatred. We get angry even with our children, but who is ever found to hate their children? Even among cattle, a cow might in tiredness angrily push away her nursing calf, but soon she embraces it with all a mother's affection. She's momentarily irritated when she butts at it, but when she misses it, she will search for it.

We discipline our children with some degree of anger and indignation, yet we wouldn't discipline them at all if we didn't love them. So far is every angry person from hating, that sometimes one would rather be convicted of hating if they weren't angry. Suppose a child wants to play in a dangerous river where he might drown. If you see this and patiently allow it, that would be hatred—your patient permission would lead to his death. How much better to be angry and correct him than to not be angry and let him perish!

Above all, hatred must be avoided and the plank removed from the eye. There's a significant difference between exceeding appropriate limits in words spoken in anger (which one later regrets) and keeping an insidious purpose hidden in the heart. Finally, there's a great difference between these Scripture passages: "My eye is troubled because of anger" (Psalm 6:7), whereas about hatred it says, "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer" (1 John 3:15). There's a big difference between a troubled eye and one completely destroyed. A speck disturbs the eye; a plank destroys it completely.

3. In order to do and fulfill what we've been instructed today, let's first convince ourselves of this above all: to have no hatred. When there's no plank in your own eye, you can see clearly whatever might be in your brother's eye, and you'll be concerned until you remove what's hurting it. The light within you won't let you neglect your brother's sight.

But if you hate and want to correct him, how can you improve his vision when you've lost your own? For Scripture also says, "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer" and, "Whoever hates his brother is in darkness until now" (1 John 3:15, 2:9). Hatred, then, is darkness.

It can't be otherwise—that whoever hates another person harms himself first. He tries to hurt the other person externally, but he devastates himself internally. In proportion as our soul is more valuable than our body, we should take more care that it not be harmed. But one who hates another does harm to his own soul.

What would he do to the person he hates? What could he do? He might take away money—can he take away faith? He might damage their reputation—can he damage their conscience? Whatever harm he does is external. See what harm he does to himself: whoever hates another is an enemy to himself within.

But because he can't feel the harm he's doing to himself, he's violent toward others. The more dangerous his state, the less aware he is of the evil he's doing to himself. He's violent against his enemy, but through this very violence the other person loses material goods while he loses his innocence. Which has suffered the greater loss? One has lost something that was destined to perish; the other has become someone destined to perish himself.

4. Therefore, we should correct in love—not with any eager desire to harm, but with earnest care to improve. If this is our mindset, we practice excellently what we've been advised today: "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15).

Why do you rebuke him? Because you're upset that he sinned against you? God forbid. If you do it out of self-interest, you accomplish nothing. If you do it out of love for him, you act excellently. In fact, notice in these very words who you should act for—yourself or him. "If he hears you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15). Do it for his sake, then, so you may "gain" him. If by doing this you "gain" him, had you not done it, he would have been lost.

How is it, then, that most people disregard these sins and say, "What great thing have I done? I've only sinned against another person." Don't disregard such sins. You have sinned against another person, but would you like to know that in sinning against another person, you are lost? If the one against whom you've sinned has "rebuked you between the two of you alone," and you have listened to him, he has "gained" you. What can "has gained you" mean, except that you would have been lost if he hadn't gained you? For if you wouldn't have been lost, how has he gained you?

Let no one disregard it when they sin against a brother. The Apostle says, "When you sin against the brethren and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ" (1 Corinthians 8:12). This is because we have all been made members of Christ. How can you not sin against Christ when you sin against a member of Christ?

5. Therefore, let no one say, "I haven't sinned against God, but only against a brother. I have sinned against a person—it's a minor sin or no sin at all." Perhaps you say it's a minor sin because it's quickly healed. You've sinned against a brother; make amends, and you are healed.

You quickly did something deadly, but just as quickly you found a remedy. Who among us, my brothers, can hope for the kingdom of heaven when the Gospel says, "Whoever says to his brother, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matthew 5:22)? This is terrifying! But look at the remedy in the same place: "If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar" (Matthew 5:23-24).

God isn't angered that you delay placing your gift on the altar. God seeks you more than your gift. For if you come with a gift to your God while bearing ill will toward your brother, He will answer you, "You are lost. What have you brought Me? You bring your gift, yet you yourself are not a proper gift for God. Christ seeks the one He redeemed with His blood more than what you found in your barn." Therefore, "leave your gift before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:24). See how quickly that "danger of hell fire" is resolved! When you were not yet reconciled, you were "in danger of hell fire." Once reconciled, you offer your gift at the altar with complete security.

6. Yet people are quick to inflict injuries but slow to seek reconciliation. "Ask pardon," someone says, "from the person you've offended, the one you've harmed." And the response is, "I will not humble myself that way." But if you despise your brother, at least listen to your God: "He who humbles himself will be exalted" (Luke 14:11). Will you refuse to humble yourself when you've already fallen? You might well say, "I will not lower myself" if you hadn't already fallen.

7. This, then, is what one who has done wrong should do. And what about someone who has suffered a wrong? What should they do? We heard today: "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15). If you neglect this, you're worse than he is. He has done wrong, and by doing wrong has seriously wounded himself. Will you disregard your brother's wound? Will you see him perishing, or already lost, and ignore his condition? You're worse by remaining silent than he was in his abusive speech.

Therefore, when someone sins against us, let's take great care—not for ourselves, for it's honorable to forget injuries—only forget your own injury, not your brother's wound. So "rebuke him between you and him alone," focusing on his improvement but sparing his reputation. For it may be that out of embarrassment he'll begin to defend his sin, and you'll make the person you want to improve even worse.

"Rebuke him," therefore, "between him and you alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15), because he would have been lost had you not done this. "But if he will not hear you," that is, if he defends his sin as if it were a just action, "take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a pagan and a tax collector" (Matthew 18:16-17).

Don't count him among your brothers anymore. But even so, his salvation shouldn't be neglected. We don't count the actual Gentiles—that is, pagans and unbelievers—among our brothers, yet we continually seek their salvation. This then is what we've heard the Lord advising with such careful concern that He even added immediately, "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 18:18).

You begin to regard your brother as a tax collector; "you bind him on earth." But be sure you bind him justly, for unjust bonds are broken by justice. When you have corrected him and been reconciled with your brother, "you have loosed him on earth." And "when you have loosed him on earth, he will be loosed in heaven also." Thus you achieve a great thing, not for yourself but for him, since he had done a great injury not to you but to himself.

8. But what about Solomon's words which we heard earlier from another reading: "He who winks with the eyes deceitfully heaps up sorrow for men, but he who rebukes openly makes peace" (Proverbs 10:10)? If "he who rebukes openly makes peace," how can we "rebuke between him and you alone" ? We should worry that the divine precepts might contradict each other. But no: let's understand that they are in perfect agreement.

Let's not follow the ideas of certain misguided people who, in their error, think that the two Testaments—the Old and New—contradict each other, so that we would think there's a contradiction here, with one passage in Solomon's book and the other in the Gospel. If anyone unskilled in and critical of the divine Scriptures were to say, "Look how the two Testaments contradict each other. The Lord says, 'Rebuke him between him and you alone.' Solomon says, 'He who rebukes openly makes peace.' Doesn't the Lord know what He's commanded? Solomon would have the sinner's hard forehead bruised; Christ spares the shame of the one who blushes for his sins."

In one place it is written, "He who rebukes openly makes peace;" but in the other, "Rebuke him between him and you alone," not "openly." But would you know, whoever you are that thinks such things, that the two Testaments don't contradict each other just because one passage is found in Solomon's book and the other in the Gospel? Hear the Apostle, who is certainly a minister of the New Testament. Hear the Apostle Paul charging Timothy: "Those who sin, rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear" (1 Timothy 5:20).

So it's not Solomon's book but an Epistle of Paul that seems to contradict the Gospel. Let's set aside Solomon for a while without disrespect to him, and listen to the Lord Christ and His servant Paul. What do You say, Lord? "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him between you and him alone." What do you say, Apostle? "Those who sin, rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear."

What are we to do? Are we to sit as judges in this dispute? Far from it! Rather, as those beneath the Judge, let's knock that we may receive understanding; let's take refuge beneath the wings of our Lord God. He didn't speak at odds with His Apostle, since He Himself spoke in him, as Paul says, "Do you seek a proof of Christ speaking in me?" (2 Corinthians 13:3). Christ spoke in the Gospel, Christ spoke in the Apostle—Christ spoke by His own mouth, Christ spoke through the voice of His herald. When a herald announces something from the tribunal, it isn't written in the record, "the herald said it," but it's recorded as having been said by the one who told the herald what to say.

9. Let's listen to these two commands, brothers, with understanding. Let's settle ourselves in peace between them both. Let's be in agreement with our own heart, and Scripture will in no part disagree with itself. It's entirely true; both commands are true. But we must make a distinction: sometimes one should be done, and sometimes the other. Sometimes a brother must be "rebuked between him and you alone," and sometimes a brother must be "rebuked before all, so that others may fear."

If we sometimes do one and sometimes the other, we'll maintain the harmony of the Scriptures and won't err in fulfilling and obeying them. But someone will ask me, "When should I do one and when the other? I don't want to 'rebuke between me and him alone' when I should 'rebuke before all,' or 'rebuke before all' when I should rebuke in secret."

10. You'll soon see, beloved, what we should do and when. Only I wish we wouldn't be slow to practice it. Pay attention and see: "If your brother sins against you, rebuke him between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15). Why? Because he has sinned against you. What does "has sinned against you" mean? You know he has sinned. Because it was secret when he sinned against you, seek privacy when you correct his sin. If you alone know he has sinned against you, and you want to rebuke him before others, you're not a corrector but a betrayer.

Consider how that righteous man Joseph spared his wife with such exceeding kindness in such a serious crime as he suspected her of, before he knew by whom she had conceived. He noticed she was pregnant, though he knew he hadn't been with her. The unavoidable suspicion of adultery remained, and yet what does the Gospel say about him? "Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example" (Matthew 1:19). The husband's grief sought no revenge; he wished to help, not punish the sinner. "And not wanting to make her a public example, he was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him" in a dream and told him how she had not betrayed his marriage bed but had conceived of the Holy Spirit the Lord of them both.

So your brother has sinned against you; if you alone know it, then he has truly sinned against you alone. But if he has done you an injury in the presence of many, he has sinned against them also whom he made witnesses of his wrongdoing. For I tell you, my dearly beloved brothers, what you can recognize in your own experience. When someone does my brother an injury in my hearing, God forbid that I should think that injury doesn't concern me. Certainly he has injured me too; even more so, since he thought what he did would please me.

Therefore those sins should be rebuked before all that are committed before all; those committed more secretly should be rebuked more secretly. Distinguish the appropriate times, and Scripture harmonizes with itself.

11. So let us act this way, and so must we act not only when someone sins against us personally, but also when someone sins in such a way that only we know about it. We should rebuke in private and correct in private, lest if we rebuke publicly, we betray the person. We want to correct and reform him, but what if his enemy is looking for something to use against him?

For example, a bishop knows of someone who has killed another, and no one else knows about it. I want to rebuke him publicly, but you're seeking to prosecute him. I will neither betray him nor neglect him; I will rebuke him in private. I will set God's judgment before his eyes; I will terrify his blood-stained conscience; I will persuade him to repentance.

This is the charity we should possess. People sometimes criticize us as if we're not correcting; or they think we know what we don't know; or they think we're concealing what we do know. I may know what you know, but I will not correct the person in your presence because I want to heal, not accuse.

There are men who commit adultery in their own homes, sinning in secret. Sometimes they're revealed to us by their wives, usually out of jealousy, sometimes seeking their husbands' salvation. In such cases, we don't expose them openly, but rebuke them in private. Where the evil has occurred, there let it die. Yet we don't neglect the wound; above all, we show the person in such a sinful state, carrying such a wounded conscience, that it's a deadly wound.

Sometimes those suffering from such wounds have the incredible perversity to ignore them. They seek out invalid testimonies from somewhere, saying, "God doesn't care about sins of the flesh." But what about what we heard today: "God will judge fornicators and adulterers" (Hebrews 13:4)? Listen, whoever you are who struggle with such a disease. Hear what God says, not what your own mind says, trying to excuse your sins, or what your friend—really your enemy and his own enemy too—bound in the same bond of iniquity says.

Hear instead what the Apostle says: "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled. But fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

12. Come then, brother, be reformed. You're afraid your enemy might prosecute you, but aren't you afraid God will judge you? Where is your faith? Fear now, while there's time to fear. The judgment day is far off, but everyone's last day can't be far off, because life is short. And since this shortness is always uncertain, you don't know when your last day will be. Reform yourself today because of tomorrow.

Let this private rebuke be effective for you now. I'm speaking openly, yet I rebuke in private. I knock at the ears of all, but I address the consciences of some. If I were to say, "You adulterer, reform yourself," I might first of all be accusing someone I had no knowledge of, perhaps based on a rash rumor. I don't say, "You adulterer, reform yourself," but "whoever you are among this people who is an adulterer, reform yourself." The rebuke is public, but the reformation is private. I know this—that whoever fears will reform.

13. Let no one say in his heart, "God doesn't care about sins of the flesh." "Don't you know," says the Apostle, "that you are the temple of God and the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him" (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). "Let no one deceive himself."

But perhaps someone will say, "My soul is God's temple, not my body," and will quote this text: "All flesh is like grass, and all the glory of man like the flower of grass" (1 Peter 1:24). Miserable interpretation! Thinking worthy of punishment! The flesh is called grass because it dies, but be careful that what dies for a time doesn't rise again in guilt.

Do you want a clear teaching on this point? "Don't you know," says the same Apostle, "that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God?" (1 Corinthians 6:19). Don't disregard sins of the body, since your bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit whom you have from God. If you disregard a sin of the body, will you disregard a sin against a temple? Your very body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you.

Now be careful what you do with God's temple. If you were to commit adultery within these church walls, what greater wickedness could there be? But you yourself are God's temple. When you go out, when you come in, when you're at home, when you get up—in all these activities you are a temple. Watch then what you do; be careful not to offend the One who dwells in the temple, lest He abandon you and you fall into ruin.

"Don't you know," Paul says, "that your bodies" (and he spoke this regarding fornication, so they wouldn't think lightly of bodily sins) "are the temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a great price" (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If you think so little of your own body, have some respect for the price paid for you.

14. I know, and so does everyone who has given more than ordinary consideration to these matters, that nobody who fears God fails to reform when hearing His words except the person who thinks they have a longer time to live. This is what kills so many, while they keep saying, "Tomorrow, tomorrow." Suddenly the door is shut. The person remains outside with a raven's croak, because he didn't have the dove's moan.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow" is the raven's croak. Moan like a dove and beat your breast, but when you strike your breast, be changed by the beating. Don't seem to be beating your conscience only to make it harder rather than better with your blows. Moan with purpose, not fruitlessly.

Perhaps you're saying to yourself, "God has promised me forgiveness whenever I reform; I'm secure. I read the divine Scripture: 'In the day that the wicked turns away from his wickedness and does what is lawful and right, I will forget all his iniquities'" (Ezekiel 18:21-22). I'm secure then—whenever I reform, God will give me pardon for my evil deeds.

What can I say to this? Should I speak against God? Should I tell God not to give pardon? Should I say this isn't written, or that God hasn't promised this? If I said any of these things, I would be lying. You speak well and truly: God has promised pardon when you reform—I can't deny it. But tell me, please—where you read that you'll receive pardon if you reform, can you also read how long you have to live? You admit, "I can't read that there." You don't know how long you have to live. Reform yourself and always be ready. Don't fear the last day like a thief who will break into your house while you sleep, but wake up and reform today.

Why put it off until tomorrow? If your life is going to be long, let it be both long and good. No one delays a good dinner just because it will be a lengthy one, so why would you want a long but evil life? Surely if it's to be long, it's better if it's good. If it's to be short, it's good that its goodness lasts as long as possible.

But people neglect their lives to such a degree that they're unwilling to have anything bad except their lives. You buy a farm, and you want a good one. You want to marry a wife, and you choose a good one. You want children to be born, and you long for good ones. You bargain for shoes, and you don't want bad ones. Yet you love a bad life. How has your life offended you, that among all your good things, you alone should be bad?

15. So then, my brothers, if I wanted to rebuke any of you individually in private, perhaps he would listen to me. I rebuke many of you now in public; everyone praises me, but may some of you actually heed me! I have no love for someone who praises me with his voice but despises me in his heart. When you praise but don't reform yourself, you testify against yourself. If you're bad but pleased with what I say, be displeased with yourself. If you're displeased with yourself as being bad, when you reform, you'll be pleased with yourself—which, if I'm not mistaken, I mentioned the day before yesterday.

In all my words, I set a mirror before you. These aren't my words; I speak at the Lord's command. I'm restrained by His warnings from keeping silent. For who would rather choose silence and not give an account for you? But now I've taken up the burden, and I can't and shouldn't shake it off my shoulders.

When the Epistle to the Hebrews was being read, brothers, you heard: "Obey those who rule over you, and submit yourselves, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account, that they may do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you" (Hebrews 13:17).

When do we do it with joy? When we see people making progress in God's words. When does a field worker labor with joy? When he looks at the tree and sees the fruit, when he looks at the field and sees the prospect of an abundant harvest. When he sees that he hasn't labored in vain, hasn't bent his back, bruised his hands, and endured the cold and heat for nothing. This is what the verse means: "That they may do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you."

Did it say "unprofitable for them"? No. It said, "unprofitable for you." For when those set over you are saddened by your evil deeds, it benefits them—their very sadness benefits them—but it's unprofitable for you. We don't wish for anything to benefit us that would harm you. Let's do good together in the Lord's field, brothers, so that we may rejoice together at the reward.